Discover 8 motherhood facts that all mums wish they had known earlier!

When I was pregnant with my twin boys, I thought I was doing everything right to prepare for motherhood.

I read the parenting books.

I went to all the antenatal classes.

I asked questions. I spoke to other mums.

I soaked up every bit of advice I could find.

But the moment my boys were born, I felt like I knew NOTHING.

I felt completely out of my depth  – like I’d been thrown into the deep end with no warning.

And the truth is… I wasn’t alone.

Most new mums feel this way.

We enter motherhood with high hopes and well-meaning plans, only to be hit by a reality no one really warned us about.

Why?

Because so much of what actually matters – the emotional shifts, the identity changes, the mental load – is barely mentioned, even in antenatal classes.

They teach you how to breathe through contractions and change a nappy… but not how to cope when you haven’t slept in days and feel like a stranger in your own body.

That’s why so many mums struggle unnecessarily and lose precious time they could enjoy with their little ones.

And that’s why I’m here to change that.

In today’s post, I’m sharing 8 must-know motherhood facts – truths that most mums only learn the hard way.

These truths will help you feel more prepared, less alone, and more confident as you begin this journey.

Let’s dive in.

1. You may NOT love your baby right away

As a new mum, you probebly expect that the moment you see your baby, all your maternal instincts immediately kick in and they you will feel an overwhelming rush of unconditional love.

But did you know that in most cases, this just does NOT happen? 

Personally, it took several months until my love for children fully formed and settled.

Truth is that maternal love is a process that develops.

So if you feel nothing special when you first see your baby, remember: there’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s normal and natural.

2. Breastfeeding is a skill that needs to be taught

When you are pregnant, one of the most common questions you get asked is, “Are you planning to breastfeed?”

However, no one tells you that breastfeeding does NOT happen naturally.

Breastfeeding is a skill that needs to be taught, and the process can be very long and painful, both physically and emotionally.

I was shocked to discover that babies don’t automatically latch on, and that despite your best efforts, sometimes it just doesn’t work out the way you hoped.

I’m a big supporter of breastfeeding – but only if it supports you, too.

Because if it’s damaging your mental or physical wellbeing, it’s more than okay to explore other options.

Remember: What your baby needs the most if your happiness! 

3. You will NOT feel happy all the time

One of the most common unspoken motherhood facts is that the idea of “enjoying every moment” is often a movie moment rather than reality.

Especially in those early days, there will be moments when you absolutely hate motherhood.

And that’s ok!

The first few weeks and months can be filled with tears, self-doubt, and even wondering if you made the right decision to have children.

It’s raw, it’s messy, and it’s completely normal.

Becoming a mum is one of the biggest transformations a woman can go through.

You can’t expect to glide through it like it’s a gentle breeze – because it’s not.

Your entire life changes overnight, but you simply can’t adjust to it from one day to the next.

And you will – one day at a time.

You won’t feel like this forever.

So be kind to yourself, mama.

You’re not failing – you’re adjusting.

And with each new day, you’re growing into the incredible mum your baby already knows you are.

4. You need to get your husband or partner involved

This might seem obvious, but so many new mums feel that caring for the baby is their job alone.

It’s not.

When you take it all on yourself, not only do you risk burning out 0 but the baby can unintentionally come between you and your partner.

And just as importantly  – you’re depriving your partner of precious bonding time with their baby.

They need those early moments too.

To learn, to connect, to build that relationship in their own way.

Of course, some partners may be unsure of how to help – or may not seem interested in helping at all.

If this is the case for you, read the post How to Get Your Partner To Help With The Baby.

But as a rule:

Parenthood is a team effort.

Let them in. Ask for support.

And give your partner the space to grow into their role – just as you’re growing into yours.

Becoming a mum is a huge change so it takes some time to adjust to the changes.

Not enjoying every moment is therefore totally normal and natural, especially in the first weeks and months.

5. Planning is mostly for your peace of mind

As a mum-to-be, you probably make detailed plans for how you’ll raise your children.

I was no different.

In fact, I’d spent years soaking up information.

I knew exactly how I’d parent—what I’d allow, how I’d set boundaries, how I’d calmly and effectively get my kids to cooperate…

Ha.

Then reality arrived, and with it, two tiny humans who had absolutely no interest in my well-thought-out plans.

Very quickly, many of my “parenting resolutions” were naturally replaced by real-life needs – and looking back, I realise how naïve some of them were.

Because the truth is: there are some things you simply can’t plan for.

Of course, it’s great to think things through and consider how you’d like to handle certain situations. That gives you a sense of direction and calm.

But don’t be afraid to ditch the plan when real life calls for something else.

Go with the flow. Trust your instincts. Adjust as you go.

Because children?

They open the door to a world you can only understand once you’re living in it.

6. You will grieve your old life – and the old version of you

No one really prepares you for the loss that comes with becoming a mum.

Yes, you gain so much: love, purpose, a whole new identity.

But with that gain often comes a quiet, deep grief for the life you left behind.

The freedom to sleep in, to be spontaneous, to shower in peace.

The version of you who wasn’t constantly “on,” who had time to dream, create, or simply be.

You may miss your old job, your old body, your old lifestyle.

And that’s ok. It’s normal.

Grieving your past self doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby.

It just means you’re adjusting to a life-altering transformation.

Be kind to yourself. That version of you isn’t gone forever – she’s evolving.

And you will find your way back to her in a new, beautiful form.

7. You will be taken aback by your own emotions and thoughts

No woman feels exactly how she imagined she would after becoming a mum.

Full stop.

The emotions hit differently.

Sometimes they’re softer, sometimes they’re louder, and sometimes they completely knock the wind out of you.

You might cry for no reason.

You might feel disconnected, terrified, joyful, lonely, euphoric – or all three in the same hour.

It’s not what you expected… and that’s ok!

Motherhood doesn’t follow a script, especially not the emotional one.

The important thing is to allow yourself to feel, without guilt or shame.

Your emotions aren’t wrong – they’re just part of your transformation.

The same goes for thoughts.

Especially in the immediate postpartum, you might find yourself experiencing intrusive or unsettling thoughts.
It can be terrifying, but remember: they’re just thoughts.

They don’t define you, and they don’t make you a bad mum.

Acknowledge them, feel them if you need to, but know they are not the truth.

Your mind is processing so much right now – and it’s ok to not have all the answers or feel at ease right away.

8. You simply can’t do it on your own

Many new mums fall into the trap of thinking they shouldn’t ask for help.

As if needing support means they’ve somehow failed.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Being a new mum request more daily tasks than one can possibly handle.

Feeding, changing nappies, settling baby, nap time, bedtime, laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping…

Then there’s keeping your relationship afloat and somehow remembering who you are in all of it.

It’s like trying to fit 12 eggs into a 9-slot egg box.

If they don’t all fit, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.

It’s because there simply isn’t space.

So please – ask for help. Ask often.

Ideally, before your baby arrives, so you already have support in place.

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.

Remember: asking for help doesn’t mean that you are weak; it means that you choose to remain strong.

8 Motherhood facts most mums find out TOO LATE

There you go!

Top motherhood facts most mums wish they had known earlier.

Which one did you find most helpful?

Let me know in the comments!

Love,
Ivana xx