48 Funny and Ridiculous Things People Say to New Mums

Last Updated on September 1, 2026 by Ivana Poku

Have you ever had someone say something to you as a new mum and just thought… “Wait, what??!”

Silly question, of course you have!

I still remember those days when I felt so lost as a new mum and was flooded with advice, comments and tips from every direction.

It only makes things much harder, doesn’t it?

It somehow makes you feel inadequate and like you’re doing everything (or most things) wrong.

So to help you feel less alone (which I love to do!) I asked in a few Facebook groups for the most ridiculous thing anyone had ever said to them and created a post from it.

Let me tell you, the answers came flooding in!

So below you’ll find 48 of the funniest, rudest and most baffling things people say to new mums.

And so that we don’t only complain, but are also helpful, I’ll also share my tips on what people should say instead. (I see the irony!)

Whether you say ‘mum’ or ‘mom’, I promise the comments are exactly the same on both sides of the Atlantic.

Let’s dive in!

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Table of Contents

Why people say ridiculous things to new mums

People often say silly or shocking things because they don’t know what’s going on in your life.

Or they forget how hard it is to be a new mum. (Which means you’ll forget one day too!)

They probably think they’re being helpful or funny.

I promise it’s never really about you!

People often like to give advice when they wish they’d done things differently and think this is the way to help and give back. What they don’t realise is that you are not them, and your situation is different from theirs.

Also, once they’ve said it, they don’t give it another thought.

So why should you?

Funny things people say about your body and birth

We may as well start here, because this is where most of them landed.

Apparently, growing and delivering an entire human makes your body public property. Who knew!

You are so tiny, you don’t look pregnant at all.
Are you pregnant? (to a postpartum mum)
Don’t worry, you will lose the baby weight.
Are you sure it’s not twins?
What does it look like down there?
You look tired.
You’ve been eating a lot of doughnuts.
Did it hurt?
Your boobs are HUGE!
I was nowhere near this big when I was XY weeks along.
You look great for someone who just had a baby.
You look like you’ve lost weight. Are you eating enough?

Ridiculous advice about feeding

Ah, feeding.

The one subject where suddenly everybody is an expert.

It’s crazy you aren’t going to breastfeed. When calves are born they would die without getting any of the initial colostrum that the mums produce.
Don’t listen to your midwife’s advice, I never did it like that.
You know scheduled feeding is the only way to feed your child.
Breast is best.
Baby is soo skinny now, are you feeding him?
Your baby is small because she is formula-fed.
You shouldn’t breastfeed your baby because he’s a boy and you won’t have enough milk for him.

Just for the record, what your baby needs the most isn’t breastmilk, it’s a happy mum!

See also my post on why bottle feeding doesn’t make you a bad mum.

Silly things people say about baby sleep

These are almost always said by someone who slept eight hours last night:

Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Holding your baby would spoil them.
He’s 8 weeks? He should be sleeping through the night by now.
Your baby should be sleeping in her own room in her cot at 4 months or she never will sleep alone.

The “just enjoy every minute” comments

These ones are said with love, but still feel like a judgment:

You should try to enjoy the birth as it goes so quickly.
Make sure you enjoy every minute.
Enjoy it, this is the easy bit.
It gets worse.
If you think this is bad, just wait.
You should be resting now.

You don’t have to enjoy every minute. Nobody enjoys every minute of anything.

Unsolicited parenting wisdom that makes no sense

This is my favourite category as they at least make you laugh:

Babies don’t cost that much.
You can’t feel the baby move already, I didn’t at that many months.
We didn’t do that in my day and our children turned out fine.
I thought you’d said you weren’t going to use a dummy.
Put mittens on your son, he needs to “explore” himself. (To a mum whose baby was a couple of hours old.)
If you cycle baby’s legs they’ll grow tall.
If you don’t do tummy time your baby will be short.
If you put him in onesies all the time he would grow up and not know how to get dressed.
You don’t get to celebrate Mother’s Day because you haven’t been a mum for a year. (Said by the partner of a mum with a 7-month-old.)

Things people say about your baby (and when you’re having another)

Here are the comments people often ask before you’ve even had a chance to recover from birth:

She’s not happy, is she? (About a crying baby.)
She doesn’t look anything like you.
Your son had a feeding tube? How I wish my baby had a tube.
This is your third? Are you CRAZY?
When are you having another one?
I could never go back to work. I’d miss my baby too much.
When are you going to try for a girl? (when you gave birth to another boy)
You’re so lucky you get to stay at home.
I think he’s hungry / tired / wet.
This is your third son? Never mind, you can always try again.

What to say instead

Okay, so now we know what not to say, let’s take a look at what to say instead.

Because most people who say the wrong thing aren’t unkind, they just don’t know what the right thing is.

So here it is.

1. You’re doing a fantastic job. She has spent all week wondering if she’s getting it wrong and you can end that in five words.

2. What can I bring you/do for you? Not let me know if you need anything, because she won’t. She’s too exhausted to ask, and she doesn’t want to be a bother. So don’t offer, just do it. You don’t even have to ask anything at all.

3. Do you want to talk about it, or shall I just sit here with you? It’s always good to check with her what she wants as some days she’ll want to talk, and some days she just needs someone to be there for her.

4. He’s lucky to have you. Because nobody tells her that. Everybody tells her how lucky she is.

5. That sounds really hard. It’s not your job to fix anything, just listen to her and be there for her.

6. Have a nap, I’ll watch her. One of the most generous things you can say.

7. Say nothing about her body. Not even the good things. Just leave her body out of it entirely.

And if you’re writing a card:

“Thinking of you both. No reply needed.”
“You’re going to be brilliant at this.”
“Food is coming on Thursday. Don’t cook.”
“Sending love, and absolutely no advice.”

Funny comebacks for when you’ve properly had enough

If you feel like replying, here are some funny things you can say back:

Are you sure it’s not twins?: “Nope, just the one. Are you sure that was a question?”
You look tired: “I am. Thanks for checking.”
Make sure you enjoy every minute: “Even the 3am ones when you haven’t slept for weeks? Brave of you.”
We didn’t do that in my day: “I know. That’s sort of the point.”
Are you sleeping when the baby sleeps?: “Yes. And I’m cleaning when the baby cleans.”
When are you having another one?: “This one’s still quite new. I’ll let you know.”
Breast is best: “I disagree. But thank you for your interest in my chest.”
If you think this is bad, just wait: “Wow. You’re really good at this.”

If you don’t want to use them or say anything back at all, that’s totally fine too!

Sometimes just knowing you could say it is enough. 😉

How to handle silly comments (without losing their cool)

So how to handle these and many other silly comments?

My best advice is to always remember it’s never personal.

Sometimes we give other people too much energy, and have nothing left for people who really matter (including ourselves).

And secondly, it really helps to work on your confidence. When you feel secure in yourself, these comments won’t shake you, or at least not as much.

And if someone keeps making comments that upset you, it’s more than OK to tell them. You can explain that their comments aren’t helpful and ask them to stop.

Becoming a mum takes a huge toll on your body and mind, and the last thing you need is to spend your precious energy worrying about what everyone else says or thinks.

Or, if you want to listen to someone, ask real experts in the field or fellow mums who are going through the same thing.

You’re an amazing mum, and your baby is lucky to have you!

You may also find these posts helpful:

Final word

Every new mum hears silly comments. It’s just an unfortunate price we somehow have to pay when we have a baby.

Yes, some of them hurt, but I promise they are never about you.

They’re about somebody else’s experience, somebody else’s belief, somebody else filling a silence.

So please ignore the nonsense, and focus on what really matters: you and your baby.

You’re doing a fantastic job! Please never forget that.

What’s the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you? Drop it in the comments, I’d love to hear your experiences!

FAQs

What are common things people say to new mums?

People often say things like “Are you sure you’re feeding her enough?”, “You’ll lose the baby weight soon”, or “Sleep when baby sleeps”. Some comments are funny, some are shocking, and some are just plain unnecessary. The important thing to remember is that they’re usually not meant to hurt you.

What should you say to a new mum?

Say “You’re doing a great job”, “I’m bringing you dinner”, or “That sounds really hard.” The best things to say to a new mum are short, kind, and ask nothing of her. And please, say nothing at all about her body, not even the nice version.

What should you never say to a new mum?

Never comment on her weight, her feeding choices, or how tired she looks. Never say anything along the lines of “just wait, it gets worse”. She’s going through a huge adjustment right now, and such comments can push her over the edge (even if she looks okay!)

What are the funniest things people say to new moms?

The classics: “You look great for someone who’s just had a baby” or “Someone’s been eating a lot of doughnuts.” Funny (or well-meant) advice for new mums usually comes from people who mean well just haven’t really thought it through.

How should I react to ridiculous comments as a new mum?

You have a few options. Ignore it – although I know that’s often easier said than done. Or use humour or a sarcastic reply! It can lighten the moment. Or don’t react at all and protect your energy. Choose whatever feels right for you. There’s no “right” way to respond.

Do all new mums get judged by friends and family?

Yes, pretty much every new mum experiences it. Friends, family, and even strangers sometimes give unsolicited advice or make comments. It’s normal, and the key is not to take it personally.

Why do strangers feel the need to comment on my baby?

Strangers often comment because they’re curious, trying to be helpful, or just don’t realise how their words come across. They usually mean well – even if their comment is weird or annoying.

How can I stay confident after hearing rude or funny comments?

Remember, you know your baby best, no one else. Take comments with a pinch of salt because it’s never about you. People often like to give advice when they wish they’d done things differently and think this is the way to help and give back. What they don’t realise is that you are not them, and your situation is different from theirs.

I know it’s hard, but don’t give these people too much of your energy. Your baby needs it more than strangers! If you feel like it, tell them how their comment makes you feel and ask them to stop saying it. It can help them reflect and stop saying it to other new mums. And even if it doesn’t, you did all you could and stood up for yourself.

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Ivana Poku

PhDr. Ivana Poku is the author of Motherhood – The Unspoken, an award-winning blogger and maternal mental health advocate. Through her work, she is on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen, heard and supported. Ivana is also a mum of three boys, including twins, and lives with her family in a small coastal town in Scotland.