Ivana Poku At the time of writing this post, my twin boys are toddlers.
It’s 12 p.m. and I’ve just got back from a toddler playgroup.
Shattered and in pain.
(Both physical and mental – though I’m not sure which one’s worse.)
Strangely, this state has sparked fresh inspiration for a new post.
I wanted to share at least a glimpse of what a mum of toddlder twins often goes through in a single day.
Obviously, I can’t cover every detail, because this post would never end—and no two mums’ routines are the same anyway.
But I can tell you what it looks like for us.
So here we go.
Attending a playgroup
Let’s start with playgroups.
They’re great, and I’m genuinely grateful we get to attend them.
Playgroups give us mums the chance to socialise, have a chat, maybe even meet new friends.
And for the kids? Well… pretty much the same, really.
Every time we get there, I always hope for at least ten minutes with a cup of coffee while chatting to another mum and watching the boys play… Ha!
Honestly, if I manage to exchange more than four lines with someone without being interrupted, I call it a success.
I know it’s borderline madness to keep doing the same thing expecting different results, but sometimes, you have to cling to some hope. Just to stay sane.
What it usually looks like: me being dragged around like a ragdoll by one toddler – or worse, pulled in two directions by both.
Deciding who to comfort first becomes a split-second decision. (Although, to be fair, it’s sharpened my decision-making skills under pressure.)
I love playing with my boys, but unfortunately, proper playtime doesn’t last long. Nearly every game turns into a fight. They’re usually short, but the screaming is… intense.
Oh, and I can’t forget their favourite hobby: climbing on me like I’m a jungle gym. They especially enjoy this when another mum tries to ask me a question.
When I’m trying to answer, while the boys are screaming and bouncing on my lap, I probably look like I’m battling two sharks while shouting something unintelligible through their heads.
I struggle most with questions. With toddler twins, you’re always alert, and multitasking like that isn’t my strong suit.
I’m sure I’ve answered completely different questions than the ones I was actually asked.
In the car
Next up – car journeys.
And no, I don’t mean the drive itself. I mean the act of getting in the car.
Step one: chase the boys down and get them safely inside. Step two (the hard part): strapping them in.
Sometimes they cooperate. Most times, I’m using every bit of strength I have to hold down a wriggling toddler who’s determined not to give in. When they resist with their whole bodies, my arms suddenly feel like floppy spaghetti.
By the time both are strapped in, I’m sweating and panting like I’ve just run a marathon.
And then we still have the actual journey.
That’s when the screaming begins – for no specific reason, of course. Or one of them starts bullying the other. Usually on a motorway.
The other day, I completely lost it. I ended up screaming and crying during the drive. I can take a 10-minute drive with screaming toddlers, but a one-hour mission with them in meltdown mode? That’s more than most humans can take.
And yes—I shouted things I instantly regretted. I felt awful. I apologised all evening. The boys, of course, forgot it ever happened within 10 minutes.
If only it were that easy for me too…
Nappy changing
Changing nappies shouldn’t be a workout. But somehow, it is.
Honestly, how can something so simple feel like an exorcism?
Same with changing clothes.
I’ve learned that planning anything for a specific time is overly optimistic – because I never know how long it’ll take just to get us ready and out the door.
Nap time
Nap time = sanity time.
Without naps, I genuinely don’t know how I’d get through the day.
It’s my chance to reboot, catch my breath, and recharge before round two begins.
During nap time, I never plan anything.
All I want, and need, is to switch off.
Playing at home
Most days, I try to take the boys out of the house. But sometimes we stay home.
And honestly, as a twin mum, lots of things are off-limits when you’re solo – swimming, shopping, visiting friends… not always an option.
There are moments at home that are so precious. We laugh, play, connect.
And then there are moments when, after just an hour, I feel like I’m ready for a padded room.
I often end up covered in bruises (thank you, twin climbing club) and with a banging headache. Their lungs are powerful—and they love testing how loud they can be.
The minute I get up to go to the kitchen, I brace for the scream.
It’s usually:
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a fight over a toy,
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someone pushing the other, or
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one of them losing it because I left the room.
And oh, the best is when there are two crises at once.
One child crying in pain needing comfort, while the other is drawing on the wall. Or both demanding two completely different things at the same time—at full volume.
These are the real highlights. And yes, sometimes they happen before we’ve even had breakfast.
Evening time – a.k.a. when Daddy gets home
My husband Yaw usually doesn’t get back from work until later in the evening, so I handle most of the day on my own.
But when he walks through the door? It’s magic.
Not just for me – but the boys’ reaction is something else. Pure joy. Every time.
It takes me back to those early dreams of family life – kids jumping up and down when Daddy gets home. And sometimes, it still hits me: This is real. This is my life.
I have two amazing, healthy boys. And a husband who loves us.
Yes, having toddler twins is hard. Most nights, all I want is to lie down and stare at the ceiling in silence.
But somehow, the harder it is, the more it gives back.
Because even on the worst days, when we come together in a family hug… everything hard just melts away. Like smoke. And all that’s left is joy.
The first year with the twins was about pure survival.
At this stage in motherhood, I can honestly say: no matter what happens, my love for my children outweighs everything.
And I know nothing will ever change that.
With love,
Ivana xx
