Ivana Poku Mum burnout is real.
So real, it’s almost unreal that anyone still doubts it.
As a mum, you’re constantly juggling more than feels humanly possible.
Early mornings. The school run. Meal prep. Cleaning. Shopping. Cooking. Laundry. Work. More laundry. Being present for your kids. Finding time for your partner. And somehow… squeezing in a moment for you.
Even with a supportive partner, it’s still too much to carry.
And it’s not just the doing – it’s the constant thinking.
School events. Appointments. Packed lunches.
A million questions and demands.
A million decisions a day.
Personally? I find that part harder than motherhood itself.
Because your brain never switches off. It’s always on alert — day and night.
No wonder so many of us feel on the edge of burnout… or already burnt out.
That’s why I’m always looking for small ways to ease the mental load.
And today, I’m sharing one simple tip that’s been a total game-changer.
It’s so obvious, I actually laughed at how long it took me to do it.
Let’s dive in.
XXX
As a mum, you wear multiple masks every day.
Without even realising it.
You wake up — one mask.
You leave the house, meet other mums — another mask.
You’re with your partner — different again.
With your kids — a new version of you.
And yes, when you’re with friends, in a shop, chatting to a stranger… every interaction has its own mask.
Pretty exhausting, right?
Now, when I say “mask,” I don’t mean you’re fake.
I mean you act a certain way depending on where you are and who you’re with.
Let me give you an example…
You have a stressful morning. Your kids are driving you crazy. You feel like screaming.
(We’ve all been there, right?)
Then you see a mum from school or baby group walking toward you…
So what do you do?
You smile, swallow your emotions, and make small talk.
Once she’s gone, the stress comes flooding back.
Then you go to the shop – and once again, you slip into a different version of yourself.
And it goes on… all day, every day.
And the worst part? We do it on autopilot, without even noticing.
But the energy it drains from you?
MASSIVE.
Energy you could be using in a much better (and more positive) way.
Absolutely, Ivka. Here’s a powerful, honest, and motivating ending to your blog post – building on your message and encouraging other mums to drop the mask, too:
The truth is – wearing all these masks all day, every day?
It chips away at you.
Pretending you’re okay when you’re not…
Smiling when inside you want to cry…
Nodding and chatting when all you really want is to be seen, held, or even left alone…
It takes a toll.
Not just on your energy, but on your sense of self.
Because after a while, you forget who you are underneath all those roles and smiles.
We do it to protect ourselves.
To keep it together.
To “stay strong.”
But here’s what I’ve learned:
The real strength is in honesty.
Not pretending.
Not pushing it down.
Not holding it all in.
These days, when I feel like shit, and I run into someone?
If they ask how I am, I’ll say something like, “Bit of a mess today.”
But more importantly – I allow my face to show how I really feel.
When I’m on the verge of falling apart, I don’t force a smile.
When I feel sad, I let the sadness show on my face.
When I really need to cry, I cry. Even if people are around.
And guess what?
The world didn’t fall apart.
Nobody judged me.
In fact, I connected with people on a much deeper level.
It’s one of the most liberating, and energy protecting thing you can do.
Not to mentione that every time I drop the mask, you give other mums permission to do the same.
To breathe.
To feel what they’re feeling.
To stop performing and start being real.
Imagine a world where we all did that.
Where we didn’t have to pretend.
Where we could be honest without shame.
Where “I’m not okay” was a complete sentence – and an accepted one.
So this is my invitation to you, mama:
Next time you’re not okay – don’t hide it.
You don’t owe the world a smile when your heart is heavy.
You don’t have to be “fine” when you’re not.
Be real.
Let your face show your feelings.
Let the tears fall.
Say the hard thing out loud.
You’ll feel lighter. Stronger. More you.
And in doing that, you’ll show another mum that she can do the same.
You’ve got this!
