15 Things Mums Need To Know About Postnatal Depression

What is postnatal depression (PPD)?

It’s one of the most misunderstood conditions in motherhood.

Postnatal depression isn’t just about feeling low or sad.

And it sure as hell doesn’t mean being depressed about having a baby.

It’s a serious illness, justl like cancer or diabetes.

If you’re pregnant or a new mum, chances are you’ve heard the term postnatal depression from a midwife, a leaflet, or in passing at an antenatal class.

But here’s the problem: the information about PPD is often brief, clinical, and theoretical.

It doesn’t explain what is really is. How it feels. How it can quietly take over without you even realising.

No wonder research shows 58% of new mums with postnatal depression never seek help, simply because they don’t understand the condition.

Some mums think, “That won’t happen to me.” Others have questions they feel too ashamed or scared to ask.

That’s why in this post, I’m sharing the crucial, often little-known truths about postnatal depression that every mum deserves to know — so you can recognise the signs, understand it, and know how to recover.

1. What is postnatal depression?

NHS defines PND as ‘a type of depression that many parents experience after having a baby. It’s a common problem, affecting more than 1 in every 10 women within a year of giving birth. It can also affect fathers and partners and can start anytime in the first year after giving birth.’

This is all very accurate.

However, being a PND survivor, I created my own definition based on personal experince.

Here goes.

Postnatal depression is an illness and it has nothing to do with the love you have for your baby or with your ability as a mother.

When you have postnatal depression, you feel like something took over your brain and you no longer have power of your thougths, and often even actions.

It’s not you anymore.

All you feel is intense emptiness.

You are just a body without a soul.

All you want to do is cry.

You see no point in anything.

You are convinced your loved ones would be better off without you.

It is the darkest and scariest place you can get to and the hardest place to come back from.

The worst thing is that you often don’t know that you have it, you simply feel like you’re failing as a mum.

This is what makes postnatal depression extremely dangerous and why it’s crucial to seek help.

Both terms refer to the period after birth.

However, postpartum is correlated with the mother’s condition after birth, whereas postnatal relates to the baby.

Postpartum is also more commonly used in the US while postnatal is more common in Australia and UK.

3. What is the difference between postnatal depression and baby blues?

‘Baby blues’ is a normal part of motherhood where a new mum adjust to the changes that come with the baby.

I prefer to call it normal, natural and expected feelings of a new mum, when you feel tearful, irritable, sad, and emotional for no apparent reason.

It usually starts in the week after you’ve given birth and can last up to one month although it usually subsides earlier, when the baby is around 10 days old.

Postnatal depression can feel like “baby blues” in the beginning so it can be challenging to recognise it.

However, the symptoms of PND last longer than the symptoms of “baby blues” and can interfere with your ability to function and look after your baby.

There is a thin line and I often say it doesn’t matter if you have “baby blues” or postnatal depression. If you feel soemthing is not right, it needs to be addressed.

4. How does it feel to have postnatal depression?

As stated on the NHS website, signs that you or someone you know might be depressed include:

a persistent feeling of sadness and low mood
lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in the wider world
lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day
difficulty bonding with your baby
withdrawing from contact with other people
problems concentrating and making decisions
frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby

Personally, I experienced most of these symptoms.

I had the uncontrollable urge to cry, almost all the time. My appetite vanished, and activities that once brought me joy suddenly felt meaningless.

For months, I lived in denial, refusing to accept that this was my life now.

There was a constant, heavy darkness inside me, a deep emptiness, and a deep conviction that I was useless, that my family would be better off without me.

Some mums with PPD feel the opposite: they become overprotective, consumed by extreme anxiety, unable to leave their baby for even a second, and constantly fearing that something terrible will happen.

The truth is, everyone’s symptoms are different.

If yours aren’t listed here but something feels “off,” it needs to be addressed!

Even if it’s not depression yet, ignoring it can allow it to grow into something harder to manage.

According to the NHS, the cause of postnatal depression isn’t completely clear and some of the factors it has been associated with include:

previous experience of mental health problems
biological causes
lack of support
difficult childhood experiences
experience of abuse
low self-esteem
stressful living conditions
major life events

Personally, I would also add to the list: inadequate education about life after baby and postnatal mental health.

Most antenatal classes focus mostly on information around childbirth but offer only minimal, if any, information on life after the baby arrives and postnatal mental health.

Media create the illistion that becoming a mum is the most wonderful time in a woman’s life.

The problem is, that new mum is somewhat automatically expected to be happy. However, this is often not the case. Becoming a mum is a huge shock to the system, and it takes time to adjust to all the changes.

But since no one talks about it, when a new mum struggles to cope, she often feels guilty or life she’s faiing her baby.

She often struggles in silence due to shame, form where it is the fastest way in PPD.

It’s a vicious cycle we can only break by being open and honest about the realities of life as a new mum.

6. Postnatal depression or just tired?

As I mentioned in point three, postnatal depression is more than just tiredness or a low mood, and it doesn’t simply “pass with time.”

Yes, exhaustion is a normal part of new motherhood.

But if it is is joined by persistent sadness, loss of joy, anxiety, or other symptoms – and these feelings last longer than two weeks – it could be more than sleep deprivation.

If this sounds familiar, reach out to someone you trust as soon as possible.

It is not easy to talk about depression, but it is even harder to live with it.

7. Is postpartum depression considered an illness?

Yes!

In the most severe cases of postnatal depression, you have little to no control over your thoughts or emotions, which is why it’s classed as a serious health condition.

Postnatal depression is an illness just like diabetes or cancer.

You can’t see it on the outside, but it’s just as real and just as deserving of proper care and treatment.

When it comes to (mental) illness, there is no one size fits all.

Some mums start to feel better within a few months, while for others, postnatal depression can last a year or even longer if left untreated.

The duration depends on many factors, including:

Awareness – Do you recognise that you have depression?
Willingness to recover – Are you open to seeking help and making changes?
Mindset – How you approach your healing journey.
Life circumstances – Stress levels, financial pressures, or relationship challenges.
Support network – Whether you have people you can talk to and lean on.
Lifestyle – Sleep, nutrition, physical activity, and self-care habits.
Treatment – The type of support or therapy you’re receiving, and how well you respond to it (I’ll share treatment options below).

9. Can postnatal depression go away on its own?

Yes, BUT – for a lot of mums, it hangs around or even gets worse if you just try to push through.

And while you’re waiting for it to “pass,” it can really affect your happiness, your bond with your baby, and your everyday life.

In the more severe cases, where even getting out of bed feels impossible, medication is crucial.

Antidepressants won’t heal depression, but they will help you function and take those crucial steps toward recovery.

10. Can they take my baby away when they find out I have postnatal depression?

Absolutely not!

Having postnatal depression is an illness – it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re a bad mum.

Taking your baby away because of PPD would be like taking a baby away from a mother with cancer. It just doesn’t happen.

Even if you have frightening thoughts about hurting your baby – which many mums with PPD experience – that doesn’t mean you will act on them.

These thoughts are a symptom of the illness, not a reflection of who you are.

It’s so important to be honest with your healthcare providers because they’re there to support you and keep both you and your baby safe.

Getting help actually protects your relationship with your baby, helping you heal and bond more fully.

11. Does postnatal depression affect the baby?

Yes, especially if left untreated.

The results of the Women’s Health (Lond) Research suggest that postnatal depression can create an environment that makes it harder for both mums and babies to thrive.

That’s why spotting and treating postnatal depression early is so important. Getting the right support not only helps you feel better but also gives your baby the best chance to flourish.

This isn’t about guilt or shame, it’s about motivation.

I share my honest PND story and how I found my way back in my book, Motherhood – The Unspoken. Click HERE to learn more.

Knowing how important early support is can encourage you to take those crucial steps towards recovery.

12. Can postnatal depression last for years?

Postnatal depression affects every mum differently.

For some mums, PPD may only last a few months, but for others, it can continue for years after giving birth if it’s not properly addressed.

The important thing is to know that help is available, no matter how long you’ve been struggling.

You don’t have to (and you shouldn’t) face it alone.

13. Are there any books about postnatal depression?

Yes! There are several insightful books that explore postnatal depression, offering support, information, and real-life stories.

One I’m proud to share is Motherhood – The Unspoken, where I open up about my own journey with postnatal depression, alongside the stories of other first-time mums.

If you’re looking for honest, relatable perspectives and practical advice, this book might be just what you need to feel seen and supported. Click here to learn more.

14. Does postnatal depression affect fathers too?

Yes, absolutely!

Postnatal depression isn’t just something mums face – dads can experience it too.

Thankfully, awareness around dads’ mental health is growing, and more dads are getting diagnosed and supported than ever before.

15. How do you recover from postnatal depression?

The first and most important step in recovering from PPD is speaking up – even if it feels hard.

Especially when it feels hard!

The harder it feels, the more you need it.

You don’t have to start by talking to a professional if that feels overwhelming.

Begin with someone you trust – your partner, a close friend, a family member, a neighbour,… anyone.

Just sharing how you feel lifts a huge weight off your shoulders.

For me, talking was the best medicine. It didn’t fix everything overnight, but it helped me start to heal.

It might feel small, but as a new mum, remember you need time to adjust.

Your life has changed completely, and it’s normal that you can’t process it all at once.

Give yourself compassion and try to make things as easy as possible for yourself. (If you want some tips on building a supportive community around you, in this post.)

When you’re ready, professional help can be a vital part of your recovery – this might include therapy, counselling, or sometimes medication.

I’ll walk you through these options next.

Psychotherapy

Talking therapies (or psychological treatments) are all about helping you shift how you think and boosting your coping skills, so you’re better able to cope with new mum challenges.

Not only can they support your recovery, but they also help you stay well by spotting and changing those dark thoughts and behaviours that might hold you back.

There are plenty of different types of talking therapies that can really make a difference when you’re dealing with depression:

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
Group-based CBT
Interpersonal therapy (IPT)
Behavioural activation
Psychodynamic psychotherapy
Behavioural couples therapy – if you have a long-term partner, and your doctor agrees that it would be useful to involve them in your treatment.

Antidepressants

These may be recommended if your depression is more severe or other treatments haven’t helped; your doctor can prescribe medicine, often along with psychological treatments.

There’s a lot of misunderstanding and worry around antidepressants, which is understandable.

But for me, they were a game-changer.

When my postnatal depression was at its worst, I couldn’t stop crying, and getting out of bed felt impossible.

Starting medication helped me take those first small steps back to functioning.

Antidepressants didn’t “fix” everything, but they helped calm the intense feelings enough for me to start healing and engaging with other kinds of support.

If you ever feel unsure about medication, it’s important to chat openly with your doctor – they can explain how it works and help you find what’s right for you.

Don’t think your questions are “too small” or silly.

This is your heath we’re talking about!

Other sources of support

Exercise

Exercise is a real mood booster.

Even just a quick 10-minute walk every day can make a surprising difference in how you feel.

For me, starting to go to the gym shortly after noticing signs of PPD was one of the most healing things I did.

Trust me, exercising is magical.

Healthy diet

Eating well when you’re struggling with postnatal depression can feel like a huge challenge, I totally get it.

But nourishing your body is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself and your recovery.

Simple, healthy meals can help support your mood and energy levels.

And if you don’t feel like cooking, just adding more fruit and vegetables into your diet can make a difference.

You don’t have to make big changes overnight – small, subtle shifts can do wonders.

Get out

There’s something about fresh air, isn’t there?

Sometimes, the best therapy is just getting out of the house.

A bit of fresh air, a change of scenery, or a gentle walk can do wonders for your mood and mindset.

Even now, on days when I don’t feel great, I make myself go out (even when it’s the last thing I feel like doing)…. and it always works like magic.

Online forums

If getting out isn’t easy right now, online support can be a real lifeline. There are plenty of Facebook groups dedicated to postnatal depression and anxiety where you can share, ask questions, or just listen. These groups are usually closed, so what you share stays confidential and is only visible to members.

And if Facebook’s not your thing, there are other online forums and communities out there too.

Just a quick search will help you find one that feels right for you.

Support groups

Most areas run a few support groups for people who struggle with mental health illnesses.

Try searching for “postnatal depression support group near me” or “[your area] PND support group” online, and you might be surprised what’s available.

These groups can be a great way to connect with other mums who truly get what you’re going through, share experiences, and find a bit of comfort and encouragement.

Chat GPT

Sometimes, talking to someone face-to-face feels too hard, or you just need a little support anytime, day or night. That’s where ChatGPT can come in.

ChatGPT is an AI chatbot that can listen, chat through your feelings, help you organise your thoughts, or even suggest helpful tips and coping strategies.

It’s not a replacement for professional help, but it can be a gentle, non-judgmental space to offload when you need it most.

You can use it anytime you want to talk, vent, or get helpful tips.

Think of it as a supportive companion in your pocket, ready to chat whenever you need a little extra encouragement or clarity.

Charities

There are a few wonderful charities that offer help for people who struggle with postnatal mental health. For instance:

15 Burning Questions About Postnatal Depression Answered

There you have it!

Postnatal depression can feel overwhelming, but the good news is that there are ways to pull through and feel like you again.

I know that first step feels huge.

Believe me, I’ve been there.

But that very first step is the one that sets everything else in motion.

Once you take it, the next ones come a little easier.

If you think something’s not quite right, don’t waste time wondering if it’s PPD or not; don’t try to figure it all out alone.

Use tools like the NHS depression screening if you want, but more importantly – listen to yourself. If it feels off, it is off, and you deserve support.

Whether it’s “baby blues”, postnatal depression, or just a low mood, remember: no struggle is too small when it comes to your wellbeing.

Taking action today might stop a small struggle from growing into something much bigger tomorrow.

You’re not alone, and you will get through this!

If the situation is serious, if you are concerned or feel like you are a threat to yourself or your children, call 999 immediately!

With all my love and a gigantic hug,
Ivana xx