Ivana Poku New mums often ask when things get easier.
Many mums answer – Never!
Which is probably the worst possible answer a new mum can get.
I know it’s meant as a joke, but it seems like many of us have forgotten how hard it was in the first weeks and months of motherhood.
A new mum is going through so much, both emotionally and physically, and what she needs the most is HOPE that things won’t be as hard forever.
Because they won’t!
Quite frankly, nothing in this world compares to the torture you go through in the beginning.
When I became a mum, I didn’t understand other mums who kept saying that it was all worth it.
What on earth can be worth this torture? I used to think.
But now I totally understand.
Let me explain.
Becoming a new mum is a huge SHOCK t your mind and body.
Your life changes from one day to another and suddenly you hold in your arms a crying baby who totally depends on you.
It is as if someone locked you with an elephant in a room and threw the keys away.
However, as your baby grows, as your maternal love starts to develop, as your baby starts to make progress, as you bond with them when they give you their first real smile …
Your feelings naturally start to shift as well.
Before having children, I used to think that my priorities would automatically change the day I see my babies.
However, this is not how it works.
Your priorities change over time and in the background of your simultaneously growing love.
They change with your heart rather than your head.
But by the time they become toddlers, you won’t be able to even imagine your life without them in it.
The reason you cannot imagine it during the first few weeks is that as a new mother you have minimal to completely no foundation to build on.
But as you gradually reveal different layers of motherhood, you will build a solid foundation for a brand new, magnificent world.
To me, the first weeks and months of motherhood were the worst time of my life.
At the time I am writing this post, my boys are two years old and I would die for them.
It is not because it is easy.
It is because my PERCEPTION has changed.
My love for them has now developed and settled, we have bonded, we have created memories, they make me laugh, they teach me new things, they show me what really matters in life, and last but not least, they sleep through the night!
If you don’t lose yourself in your new life circumstances, your bond and love for your children will just add up to what you already have rather than replace it.
Objectively, it might be harder in many things as the boys are heavier, stronger, and much more demanding than they were as newborns.
It is harder to watch them.
It is harder to change their nappy.
It is harder to keep them still.
It is harder to get out of the house.
It is harder to get them dressed.
Yet it is SO much easier.
Trust me, once your initial new mum feelings settle (and they will!), you feel like there is nothing you wouldn’t handle.
Just remember how you felt when you were in love.
It was as if you had no problems at all.
Being a mum, after you fully adapt to the new situation, feels just the same.
It can be literally compared to the state of being constantly in love.
So if someone asks me if things get easier, I simply say YES.
Because even if my kids drive me crazy sometimes, I am happier than I ever was – which is something I definitely could not say when they were babies!
Now, what is your opinion?
Do you prefer the baby stage or toddler stage?
Let me know in the comments!
