When Do Babies Get Easier?

I asked myself that question probably a million times a day when my twins were newborns: When do babies get easier?

I was desperate and often thought: What have I done? Why did I trade my life and freedom for this new reality of changing, pumping, and feeding on zero sleep?

I felt like my life was over.

And if you’re a first-time mum, chances are… you feel the same.

First, I want to assure you: there’s nothing wrong or abnormal about feeling this way.

Having a newborn is a massive shock to the system.

Your life changes overnight, and you simply can’t adjust to that from one day to the next.

From one moment to the next, you have a screaming baby in front of you who totally depends on you. All you do is change nappies and feed. You give and give… and don’t get much back in return. You have no time or energy for your hobbies or the things you used to enjoy before baby.

So yes, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and to wonder when newborns get easier.

How could you not?

Of course you’re wondering when it gets easier.

But deep down, what you’re really asking is: Will I ever be happy again? Will I ever enjoy motherhood?

Here’s the truth: babies can get easier sooner than you may think.

The problem is, most first-time mums (me included!) make life harder for themselves.

Not on purpose.

You simply didn’t get enough real information about life after birth.

So you feel confused, lost, and like you’re the only one who’s not coping.

But don’t worry, becuase in this post, I share what you can start doing today to make baby stage easier – and more enjoyable for yourself.

Let’s dive straight in!

1. If You Don’t Accept Help, You’re Making Baby Stage 100% Harder for Yourself

I know you’ve heard this before.

But the truth is, that asking for help is one of the biggest struggles for first-time mums.

We feel like we “should” do everything ourselves.

So we go like this for weeks… months… even years – until we hit burnout or rock bottom.

But it’s simply impossible to do it all. And you’re not meant to.

Mums in the past didn’t even consider doing things alone. It’s a pressure that’s unique to modern motherhood – mainly pressure we put on ourselves – and from what we see on social media.

So please, drop the “if I’m a good mum, I have to do this on my own” mindset as soon as possible.

For your sake and your baby’s.

Get your partner involved (if that’s an issue, I’ve got a post on that). Reach out to friends, family members, health professionals… Invest in help if you can.

Get support for anything and everything: cooking, cleaning, babysitting, feeding… whatever you need.

The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll feel the pressure lift.

And you’ll be a better mum for it.

2. Know That Your Story Is Not Special

I don’t mean this in an arrogant way, but how you feel is not special.

It’s natural and common.

The only probem is people don’t talk about it.

About not enjoying every moment, struggling, crying, not bonding, longing to turn back the time…

It’s all a part of becoming a mum.

But since people don’t talk about it, we bottle it up and pretend we’re okay even when we’re not.

And struggling in silence is one of the worst things you can do – it makes everything 200% harder.

Struggling in silence affects everything: How you parent, how you cope, how you show up for your baby and yourself, and much more.

So find someone you trust, and talk to them.

Ideally another mum who’s been there and gets it. You probably already know who that person is.

Talk to them about everything what’s going on in your mind and heart. Even your deepest, scariest thoughts – especially those!

Don’t worry about them judging you.

If they do, message me and I’ll send you £100. (No joke.) I just know they won’t.

That fear of being judged is what holds us back. But speaking up leads to help, support, and healing.

Personally, speaking up saved me. And my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.

If you choose speak to your GP or a psychologist, go for it. Just make sure it’s someone who you can trust and who understands.

Sadly, not all professionals do. Some mums haven’t received the support they needed – and that’s why I often suggest starting with someone close to you first.

Even parents might not be the best to talk to sometimes.

Not because they don’t care, but because they’re too emotionally involved.

They want to protect you.

They worry more than anyone, so their insights might come from fear, not clarity.

3. Build Your Village

Like I said earlier, we’re not meant to do this alone.

The problem many modern mums (myself including) struggle with is that they live away from friends and family.

Still, there are ways to build your village. I talk more about how in this post.

Having a supportive community makes life with a newborn feel MUCH easier and lighter.

4. Get Outside Every Day

If you can, get out every day. Even multiple times a day.

There’s something magical about fresh air. It helps you zoom out and put things in perspective.

When you’re stuck indoors, isolated, your mind spirals and even small problems feel huge.

So go for a walk, swim with your baby (water is magical for mental health too), look up local mum-and-baby activities – every area has something, you just need to chose something that works for you.

5. Follow Your Gut

We mums often prioritise everyone else’s needs over our own, so it’s no surprise when we end up struggling.

Say you want to bottle feed but your friend, family, or a stranger on the internet says it’s “bad.”

So you push yourself… even though your gut is screaming otherwise.

Again, you’re making life harder for yourself.

No one knows what’s best for you and your baby more than you.

Yes, breastfeeding might be amazing for someone else.

But if it’s making you miserable, it’s important to stop.

There is no “one size fits all” in parenting.

It’s not easy, and it took me years to learn to trust my own inner voice.

But boy was it liberating when I did! In many ways.

So… When Do Babies Get Easier?

Babies get easier as soon as you decide to make it easier.

It can start feeling better right now if you let it.

If you choose to do things differently.

If you give yourself permission to not do it all alone.

It can start right now, today.

• Ask for and accept help like it’s your job.

• Speak up about your struggles.

• Build a supportive village.

• Get fresh air every day.

• Trust your instincts.

These are the main steps I wish I had taken sooner.

They would’ve made my life with newborn twins so much easier – and probably helped me avoid postpartum depression.

If you want a deep dive and to explore more ways to make new mum life easier, join my FREE 7-day email course Postpartum survival toolkit.

Every day, you’ll get simple, doable tools that help you handle new mum challenges with confidence and ease! 

 

Your next read:

Is it normal to regret having a baby?

Easy Meals for New Mums: 10 Recipes You Can Make in 20 Minutes or Less

How to Cope With Postpartum Sleep Deprivation (Without Losing Your Mind)